Carmelia Ray recently hosted a tele-summit covering the “The Laws of Modern Day Attraction – 5 Steps to Reeling in the RIGHT ONE in Today’s Dating pool”. As a result, she had a number of questions posed to her by the audience. The following are a few questions and answers which will reveal some dating tips and secrets you may want to know.
Rose from Ramsey
I think I look like “the girl next store”..sweet, etc. etc So many times my date on my first dates tells me way to much about himself, stuff like when his dog died and how sad he felt, who was the first women he slept with (small world I knew her), how his grandmother died and how bad he felt, stuff that is too heavy. Is it me, or am I just dating the wrong type of guys? I would love to meet a guy who just made me laugh the whole date.
Hi Rose, firstly take a deep breath and please believe it is DEFINITELY not you! Unfortunately there are a lot of people who need a little bit of “date coaching” and proper 1st Date etiquette to understand what’s cool to talk about, on the first date and what isn’t. It seems you’ve had your share of dating the “Downer Don” types. No one wants to spend time with someone who uses date time as a therapy session. What I would explore, is how much time you are spending to try to get to know the guys you are dating, prior to meeting face to face. You can usually get a sense of someone’s overall attitude and demeanor over meaningful correspondence by email and conversations by phone. When you find a guy who makes you laugh, it will make all these other moments a distant memory in your past.
Debbie – Albuquerque
Is there anything we as woman should watch for when dating online? For safety reasons.
There are many things to watch for Debbie when it comes to online dating safety and what to be wary of. Some really easy things to be wary of are men who message you from another country or from an area far outside of your geographic location. Scammers also tend to ask a lot of your personal contact information right away and will ask YOU to email them at a different email address. Anyone who asks you for money, or any talk about needing assistance from you is a red flag. Many scammers will create elaborate stories involving some major tragedy which is happening to their family, especially their children and will ask for your assistance. Some profiles use very professional photos, which could look like something we call “stock photography”. You should not try to engage in email conversation off the dating site unless you can authenticate with a great deal of certainty it is someone who is REAL and someone you can meet in person.
Kristina – Ann Arbor
What is your opinion on “not being too desperate” by accepting dates right away vs. playing hard to get? How available should a girl be towards a guy she likes? You want to appear interested, but not desperate. Where’s the fine line?
Thank you for your question Kristina, these are common challenges. A lot of women feel if they make themselves available, they may be dubbed as desperate. If you like the person asking you out, your answer should be YES. Men don’t like rejection to begin with. As for the availability, it is always good (or recommended) to let him know that you’ll check your schedule and get back to him; after all, you are a busy lady. The fine line is if you give him the impression you’re waiting for him to ask you out and you’re too quick to clear your schedule to accommodate HIS needs and HIS schedule before your own. Appearing “busy”, is attractive to a man, because he values a woman with independence, confidence and has a life. If he feels you’re “squeezing” him into your schedule, it’s certainly more appealing and he’ll feel more like he’s fighting to spend time with you, rather than you saying: “Oh call me ANYTIME.” This might leave him with the impression you’re totally wide open, because your life is just so ABSENT of any sort of fun activities and a date with HIM is the highlight of your week. Accepting a date right away simply means you’re interested. However, when scheduling the date, you will want to check your schedule and get back to him later that day or tomorrow with your availability. Remember, men don’t like rejection, so creating some hope and anticipation is a good thing. Accepting the date shows interest, opening your schedule and dropping everything can seem desperate.